This past week I was involved in a seven-day challenge called Thought Leaders in Stilettos with Keisha P Shields. It was an amazing experience that has changed my perspective for good.
One of the assignments we did included writing a letter to “our one”. This is the person that really needs to hear what you have to say. After writing the letter, we then had to post it publicly on a social media site.
Now the first time I posted this letter I wrote one that was very safe and comfortable. I didn’t want to be judged or pitied for what I choose to disclose. With a little more prompting from Keisha, I rewrote my letter.
Here it is, my letter to my one.
Hello,
The first thing I want to tell you is that I love you. It doesn’t matter what your past looks like, what bad things someone told you about yourself, or what you have thought about yourself. Second, you are not broken and there is nothing wrong with you.
You are a one of a kind gem. You are strong, resilient, and powerful. You are wonderful. You are loving. You bring a smile to all that see you. You make strangers glad that they met you and friends happy to know you.
It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to be sad, but don’t let the circumstances of your life change the person you are. Don’t lock yourself up inside because the world needs what you have to offer. I know what it feels like to be told you will never have the one thing you desire above all else. I also know what it feels like to be so close to your dreams, but have them slip through your fingers like sand.
I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and from the time I was twelve years old I was told that I would never have children. Of course, after hearing the same thing over and over again I believed what they said. After I got married I started having this overwhelming feeling of wanting to become a mother. I hated when Mother’s Day would come around because that is when the dreaded, “Are you a mother” question would come from everywhere. I wanted to scream or at least wear a sign that said “I’m trying.”
My reproductive endocrinologist gave me hope and we did conceive, but unfortunately, we lost that pregnancy at eight weeks. Two more attempts after that both ending in miscarriage devastated me. Once again, another Mother’s Day will come that I won’t get to celebrate. That’s when I realized that motherhood doesn’t start when I hold my child in my arms.
Motherhood started when you thought of your child’s needs above your own. When you decide to be the healthiest you can be by eating better and cutting out harmful habits. When you decide to get a better job, or go back to school, or buy a house. All these things in preparation for that little life that you will be blessed with one day, that’s when you become a mother.
No matter what road you are traveling to get to that seemingly elusive place called motherhood, I want you to know that you are not alone. There is no shame in what you are going through. It is our story and our perseverance that make us a bright light in a dark place.
So, go ahead, celebrate Mother’s Day and every day for that matter; you deserve it. I know I do.
Love always,
TJ
#tomyone #mystand #awaken7 #womensleadership