There are things that happen to us in life that rocks us to our core. These are the things that have the potential of changing us into someone we don’t recognize. We may even get stuck in that place unable to move beyond that one thing that we couldn’t control, we don’t understand, and we can’t change. This is the thing that permeates every action in our lives. This is the thing that stops us from loving fully and from trusting everyone including ourselves. It comes a time when we have to sit down, and confront that thing that is holding us back.

Until we can verbalize the things that have us bound they will continue to control our lives. We need to do this for the younger us that doesn’t understand. The older us that still can’t move on. Plus the current us that is hurting. But we are not doing this just for us, we have to do this for the future generations, our children and our children’s children. We have to break the cycle of pain that they don’t need to have in their lives. We can be the catalyst that can make them better equipped in this life.

I’m not going to say that it’s easy because it’s not. I am on this journey right now and I have cried many tears. As I look at this old photo of myself and admire the smile on my innocent face, I started to think of what I would tell her in order to keep that smile just as bright as it in this picture. I would say…

1. Be yourself no matter what.
2. Live in the moment. Don’t be in such a rush to be an adult.
3. It’s okay to cry when you’re hurt or sad or confused and you don’t have the words to say.
4. Your biological father is not coming, so stop sitting on that porch.
5. Your imagination is a gift, but don’t get lost in those other worlds. Build the one you live in to be just as grand as the ones in your mind.
6. Your opinion matters, even if others discount it.
7. Your parents did the best they could with what they had. It is up to you to build on what they taught you that was good.
8. Brush off the negative comments, they just can’t understand how great you are.
9. It had nothing to do with you eating the food, he was mad about something else and you were the first person he saw.
10. Don’t lock yourself in your room because you think you will be misunderstood. People may not understand you but that doesn’t matter if you understand yourself.
11. Trust is a fragile thing. Trust yourself first then you will be able to recognize who you can give your trust to.
12. Doctors don’t know everything.
13. Someone else’s inability to talk shouldn’t close your mouth.
14. When they tell you that you can’t do something it’s because of the limit that was placed on them. That doesn’t mean you have to accept it for yourself.
15. They are humans trying to figure out this thing called life; forgive them.
16. Stop trying to be accepted by everyone, some people can’t handle your light.
17. Perfection is impossible. Push to be better than you were the day before.
18. You won’t please everyone. Trying to will make you lonely and tired.
19. Don’t measure yourself by someone else’s yard stick; it’s too short.
20. You may think controlling everything will make you safe, but it doesn’t it just alienates you even further.
21. They can only love you on their level of understanding.
22. God loves you beyond measure. He created you for a purpose and all of the things you don’t understand now will make since later in life.

When we take a long hard look at ourselves, we may start to see some things we don’t like. The deeper we dig there will be things that we even forgot, but we have to keep going. We will find the reason we do the things we do. We will find the answer to the why that we have been seeking, but couldn’t find. It is at the root of things where we will find deliverance.